


so kiss me

by lilacvenus



Series: If I could do it all over again, I would. And I wouldn’t change a thing. [9]
Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: 5 + 1, 5 Times, Alternate Universe, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, M/M, My holidays are over and I'm sad so I wrote this, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 20:48:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20103394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacvenus/pseuds/lilacvenus
Summary: 5 times Newt kisses Thomas and 1 time Thomas kisses Newt





	so kiss me

1.

The first time they kissed it wasn't romantic at all. It was a collision of lips that lasted no more than a few seconds, the cheeks of the two boys of a red color at pulling apart, and the shouts of their friends surrounding them making the music a real background noise. It was all thanks to Minho and his damn game of spinning the bottle, they had been lucky that the bottle stopped right in the places where they were sitting, causing Newt to crawl to where his friend was, and after seconds of doubt and shouts of their friends telling them that they had to do it, Newt, not wanting to think too much, avoiding looking at the brown eyes in front of him that have always made him feel safe but that at that time for some reason managed to intimidate him now, he crashed their lips, there was no movement, their lips were only touching. The touch was enough for Newt to feel that Thomas' lips were dry, a current filled him, making him feel, without explanation, how his entire body felt suddenly numb. Thomas didn't know where to put his hands so he kept them at his side, and before he could even reason what they were doing, Newt broke away. The blond looked into Thomas' eyes and _ knew_, but he didn't want to say anything, the two boys suddenly feeling different without knowing how to explain what they meant by that, so they silently decided to pretend nothing had happened. Newt crawled back to where he was sitting and kept watching how his friends played for a while, avoiding Thomas' gaze at all costs. The bottle fell back on Thomas, but this time also pointing at Brenda. Newt just smiled and stood up, heading to the kitchen and cursing softly. _Fuck_.

2.

The second time their lips met, it wasn't the best either. Newt was sitting in the only free couch he had found throughout the entire house, he was at a party and had lost all his friends a long time ago. The blond was talking to Thomas about he-doesn't-remember-well, when a girl in a tight red dress had passed by, Thomas said something like_ that blonde is hot_, and Newt placed a half smile on his face, nodding and taking a long sip of the beer he had at the time. Thomas had decided to go after the girl, leaving Newt behind. Late at night, Newt was quite drunk to decide on his own that he didn't want to stand any longer, because keeping his balance was now a complicated task. The blond sat in the first free couch he had found throughout the house, trying to concentrate on anything to feel normal. After a while, Thomas came out of the crowd and approached, throwing himself beside Newt on the couch, greeting him again. Thomas was also drunk, the two boys tried to put together a conversation that wasn't very consistent, everything Newt could understand was that Thomas had been with the blonde girl but it didn't go well. Both began to laugh for no reason and stayed that way for a while. They looked at each other's face, and Thomas found interesting to play with one of the lock of hair that were lying on Newt's forehead, the blond let Thomas play with his hair until the boy got tired of it, now starting to play with the arm of his friend. Newt felt the adrenaline rush up his body, Thomas' face was quite close and he felt an immense need to close the space between them, so with alcohol running through his veins, and nothing going through his mind, he did. Thomas responded to the kiss instantly, in a harsh almost violent way, they separated after a while because of lack of air. Thomas threw his head back and smiled.

"At least I can say that I kissed a blond tonight." Thomas started laughing, and Newt denied, punching him on the shoulder.

3.

They were in Thomas' room, reading comics. Well, Newt was reading comics while Thomas was telling him about a date he had over the weekend with a girl from his French class, the blond decided not to pay attention to him. Newt's head hasn't stopped thinking about the only subject that interests him for now, the last time he had kissed Thomas. A month had passed since then, and the blond was still confused, thousands of mixed emotions inside him that didn't know how to interpret. First of all, he knew that his feelings were one-sided, since if it weren't, his friend wouldn't be telling him about how he almost got laid. Although, a small part of his head, a very small portion, but big enough to be able to hear it, makes noise, posing that it may not be that way. Newt doesn't want to hear it, he knows it's impossible, but the part of him who longs to be with Thomas, listens with pleasure. Now, having the boy next to him, lying in bed, that part takes hold of him, and Newt can do nothing more than nervously trying to continue reading the comic, and avoid looking to the other side, trying not to tense every time their arms have contact by accident.

"Hey, Newt, Newt!" The boy turns his head when he realizes that Thomas is calling him, and watches his friend, leaving the comic aside and running a hand across his face, then leaning on his arms to look better at the other boy.

"What's going on?" Thomas lets out a laugh before answering.

“Have you been listening? Looks like you're locked in your own little world.” Thomas smiles at him, and Newt suddenly feels warm inside.

"Sorry, I have several things going on in my head, I promise I will listen to your stupid stories from now on." Thomas laughs again.

"What occupies your mind?" Thomas poses his intense gaze on him, and Newt feels that he cannot handle it for much longer, feels that he is exposed to the other boy, and that at any moment he will only _ know _and everything will be screwed. Newt denies effusively.

"Nothing, forget it. Keep telling me about how you disturbed that girl.” This time Thomas doesn't laugh, and looks at the other boy with concern, Newt doesn't know where to put his gaze so he doesn't have to look the other boy in the eye.

"Are you sure? It's not the first time I noticed you like this, you know you can tell me anything.”

Newt, finding no other way out, takes his cell phone and pretends he has a text from his mother, telling Thomas that he has to leave now. The blond stands and takes his coat, leaving the room like lightning. He has known Thomas for quite some time, so the brunet knows how to read him well and is afraid that Thomas will realize what is happening with him.

They are in front of the entrance door, when Newt is about to open it and Thomas places a hand in it, avoiding it.

"Newt, come on. What's going on?" The blond watches him and bites his lip, because, hell, Thomas is so close, he can almost feel his breath crashing into his face. Newt watches and _knows_, knows and is afraid to feel all that. Almost as an attempt, Newt approaches and places a kiss on Thomas' lips, just like the first time there is no movement, it's just a touch, Newt bringing the brunet closer. Thomas is surprised to even do something, when the house bell rings and Newt separates, too embarrassed by the action, because Thomas didn't kiss him back, and that's all he needs to know to answer the stupid questions in his head that have been martyred him for a long time. Thomas doesn't move, still surprised, and Newt decides to step aside and opens the door, meeting a pretty girl with blue eyes who seems to be looking for Thomas, because of course, that's the way it is. Newt says goodbye and runs out the door directly to his bike, and if he shed a couple of tears on the road, it's none of anyone else's business, other than Newt's.

4.

The fourth time they share a kiss, Newt confesses to Thomas how he feels. The blond had begun to avoid his friend since he last kissed him. Two months had passed since that, and although the blond didn't cut him out of his life, he has avoided the boy as much as he can at all costs. If he sees him in the halls, he goes in the opposite direction, if he sees him with his friends, he decides to go to another place. He only talks to him when it's absolutely necessary, like Thomas addressing him exclusively when there is a group discussion, or when he can't help it in the halls and the brunet greets him. The point is that Thomas hasn't done much to approach him, at first, just after the kiss, the brunet seemed to want to talk about it with Newt, but Newt avoided him at all costs, not wanting Thomas to inevitably reject him, he already knew it, but hearing it from Thomas' own lips would kill him. Since Thomas noticed that Newt avoids him, it seemed that he had decided to accept it, indicating to Newt that perhaps he had made the right decision.

They were at Minho's house, the boy had organized a video game night and all his friends were there. Newt was in the garden playing with his friend's dog, when he heard the door open and suddenly he was no longer alone. The boy without turning to see who it was, got up from the ground, and said goodbye to the dog, letting him running through the garden.

"Newt." The boy looked at Thomas, and gave him a nervous smile. "Is it okay if we talk?" The blond felt the adrenaline fill his body.

"I don't know." He released sincerely.

"You don't know?" Newt nodded.

"I know what you want to talk about, and I'm not sure I want to hear that." Thomas frowned.

"Uh, yeah? What do I want to talk about?"

"The last time I kissed you." Newt commented, avoiding Thomas' gaze, ceasing to feel brave enough but no longer able to retract. "How you don't feel the same."

"The same?" Newt tensed, suddenly raising his shoulders, wanting to ward off the bad feeling that flooded his body.

“I like you.” He replied simply, with red cheeks and looking at the floor. "I thought, I thought you had noticed." He hugged his body, wanting to make himself smaller. Thomas didn't answer. "I, I'm sorry if it bothers you," Distressed, he tried to amend his confession. “Sorry, but I can't help it. I tried.” Newt looked up, and Thomas had a neutral face. “I will not longer mention it if it's what you want. Just,” The blond continued to watch Thomas' face that now had an expression of confusion, _hell_, Newt was going to miss that face, he came over and placed a kiss on the other boy's cheek, separating a little and then placing another on Thomas' lips. It was just a touch, a quick kiss, that although the blond wanted to see it as a farewell, didn't feel as such. “Sorry.” Newt walked away from the boy and entered the house again, sitting next to his friends and watching the screen, still watching it when Thomas entered the room and sat down in another couch, Newt had a lump in his throat, which he knew, it would be with him for a while.

5.

Newt was lying in his bed, Minho had just left. His friend had gone to see how he was, since according to the Asian, Newt didn't spend so much time with them last week. Newt's head was still a mess, so he had decided that he would try to sort his feelings. In other words, he needed time to get over Thomas, and seeing him every day during lunch wasn't something that would help. Newt's father had several beers in the fridge, so the boy took a few and locked himself in his room, beginning to read a book he had long abandoned. Someone knocks on the door of his house, the boy stays lying on the bed, when he hears the knock again, and decides to stand, hiding the beer bottles under the bed and stretching. He walks towards the door and when he opens it he cannot be more surprised.

"Hello." Thomas is on the other side, smiling at him, with his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, Newt just tends to nod. "Can I come in?" Newt hesitates but at the end he steps aside for the boy to pass.

"It seems that today is the day of visits." Thomas looks at him curiously as they walk to his room. "Minho has also come today." He clarifies, coming to the door of his room and entering, Thomas follows.

Inside, the tension can be felt a little more, and Newt would say something if he had any idea of what the hell Thomas is doing there.

"I wanted to know how you were." Thomas commented, as if he could read Newt's mind._ If you can, take my hand. _

"Oh." Newt let the air out of his lungs with a sigh. "I guess I'm fine." The beer that Newt consumed a few moments ago makes him tolerate the fact that that situation turns out to be a bit awkward. "Thanks for worrying, I guess."

"Listen." _Oh_ _no_. Newt wasn't ready to be rejected, not now. The blond stood up and walked to where Thomas was, who was leaning against one of the walls of the room. "About what you said the other night,"

Newt doesn't know if it's because he was a little bit dizzy or because he really didn't want to hear what Thomas wanted to say, that he decided to kiss him again. His lips slammed into Thomas' again without any delicacy, the blond placed his hands in Thomas' hair, wanting to caress it but instantly pulling them away, when he felt the movement of Thomas' lips against his, and hands gently pulling him away. He wanted to jump from the nearest cliff.

"Newt." Thomas managed to separate himself from the kiss, taking Newt's wrists with his hands. "I think we have to talk first,"

"Oh my God." Newt interrupted him. "God, I'm so sorry." The boy broke free of Thomas' grip. "Forgive me, I," Newt no longer knew what else to say, he had run out of any excuses, other than explaining he was a complete idiot. "I don't know why I did that, I just," Newt looked at the floor, and left the room as quickly as he could, with Thomas following his steps.

"Newt, wait." The blond ignored him, and kept walking, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. "Where are you going?" Newt reached the front door and ran away. "This is your house."

\+ 1

It had been several days since the 'incident', and Newt had decided that he had to put aside the stupid crush on his friend, because it was slowly killing him. The blond closed his locker and headed for his last class of the day, tired simply from being there. He had to endure an hour of his teacher chattering on a subject he's sure, they had seen before but nobody seemed to notice, to finally be free. The boy left the class releasing a big sigh, and walked back to his locker, to store his books. The blond noticed that on the opposite side, Thomas was walking quickly. Newt decided to turn around and start walking a little faster. Yes, he had decided that he would overcome his stupid crush, but he wasn't ready to face the ridicule he had managed to make the last few times he was with Thomas.

“Newt!” He heard Thomas shout from afar, the blond decided to ignore the call and hastened the pace. Now he was walking through the school garden, passing by the cheerleading training and a group of boys playing the guitar. Newt believed that he had lost Thomas, when a huge force threw him to the floor, making him throw his books and let out a scream. Newt, surprised and too grateful because the grass managed to cushion, not in some great way but something, his blow, turned to face the person responsible for this, who now had his hands placed on both sides of his head, cornering him.

"Did you just tackle me?" Newt emphasised, quite angry. "You're bloody crazy."

“What was I supposed to do? You were going to run away.” Newt decides not to comment anything about it, because he knows that what his friend just said is the truth.

"What do you want from this?" Newt turns his head, trying to avoid Thomas' penetrating gaze.

"I want to talk to you." Newt closes his eyes and curses.

"I don't want to talk to you, I thought I had already made it clear." The position they are still in is funny to Newt, and he would laugh about it if his heart wasn't breaking.

"Why?" Thomas seems not to understand the situation Newt is in, and the blond wants to scream in frustration.

"Why? Because I don't want to hear anything you have to tell me, I'm fed up.” The blond tries to stand but it is impossible with Thomas' body on his. "Let me go."

"Sorry if you don't want to hear this, but I have to tell you." Newt closes his eyes and tries to control his breathing, but he seems to have forgotten how to do it suddenly. _ You will not cry, I forbid you to cry_.

“Thomas, please. _ No_.” Newt opens his eyes and looks back at Thomas, praying that his cheeks are not red and his eyes don't betray him.

"I'm sorry, but you need to know this." Newt placed a pout on his face. "I need you to know that I like you." The expression on Newt's face changed radically to one of total confusion. “At first I didn't know what it was, the first times we kissed I thought that what I had felt was only the confusion of kissing one of my friends, but after the time you kissed me at Minho's house I realized that it was different.” Okay, now Newt's cheeks were completely red. "I tried to tell you but you always ran away or avoided me most of the time." Newt smiled sadly. “I like you and I'm quite sure you love me.” Newt laughed and hit Thomas' chest.

"Okay, now get off me." Thomas also laughed and stood up, extending a hand to help Newt stand up. The brunet smiled, and placed his hands around Newt's waist.

"Sorry to act like a fool every time you kissed me, I was so surprised that I didn't know what to do." Newt smiled and denied.

"No hard feelings." Newt replied. "I'm also sorry, for acting like a total weirdo." The brunet denied.

"Now, can I kiss you properly?"

Thomas didn't wait for an answer and put their lips together, Newt placed his hands in Thomas' hair, this time he began to caress it, without fear. When he felt Thomas' lips against his, the blond felt that he was losing his breath, Thomas' lips moved in sync with his, the blond now placing his hands on Thomas' cheeks to deepen the kiss. Newt felt that he was in paradise and hell at the same time. Thomas tightened the grip on his waist, trying to put him closer, if that was possible. After a while, the two boys separated, and gasped, trying to catch their breath. Thomas laughed and placed a kiss on Newt's nose, then placing their foreheads together.

"Do it again." Newt whispered, and Thomas smiled, closing the distance between them for the second time.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [punknewt](http://punknewt.tumblr.com)


End file.
